The Dying of the Light
by Tuttle
Summary: When the illusion of being young and beautiful forever is shattered, where can you turn and who can you trust? Parts 3-8 Posted. Please R&R.
1. Chapter One

**Title:** The Dying of the Light

**Author:** Greens

**Feedback:** Please, please, please. I live for feedback, feedback is my friend. But don't be too harsh. Although I do like constructive criticism, please remember, fanfiction writers are people too.

**Pairing:** Ben/Michael with an infusion of Brian.

**Rating:** R

**Genre:** Angst, Drama, H/C (sorta)

**Summary:** When the illusion of being young and beautiful forever is shattered, where can you turn and who can you trust?

**Notes:** We are in the third decade of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. More than 60 million people worldwide have become infected, including over 20 million who have already died. The majority of those newly infected today, both in the United States and abroad, are under 25. AIDS could claim up to 100 million lives worldwide by 2020 if nothing changes. At this rate, AIDS will be the worst epidemic in human history. But HIV is preventable. 1-866-344-KNOW is a 24-hour, toll-free hotline where you can get a free guide about HIV/AIDS and sexual health, be connected with the CDC's AIDS hotline for information about HIV testing in the U.S., or connect with a local Planned Parenthood clinic for other sexual health services. (from )

**Special Thanks:** Thanks to the actors who give us viewers characters we care about and for giving us writers a basis for inspiration. There would be no QAF if it wasn't for the actors who were daring enough to take part in this project. So thanks to all of you!

**Spoilers:** I really don't think there are any, but just to be safe, I'm gonna say spoilers through 307.

**Warnings:** Major Angst

**Disclaimer:** I don't own QAF or any of the QAF characters. All invented characters however are my own. I am not making any money off of this fic and am writing purely for pleasure and my general love for the show.

* * *

Chapter One

_Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight_

_And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way._

_Do not go gentle into that good night...._

_Rage, rage against the dying of the light_

_Dylan Thomas_

"Mmm, something smells amazing," Michael said, stepping into the apartment. He looked around. "Ben?!"

"Kitchen," Ben called.

Of course," Michael smiled at the obviousness of the response. He made his way through the doors to the kitchen. "What are you making?"

"Dinner," Ben teased, turning from the stove, quickly pulling Michael towards him.

"Oh is that right?" Michael laughed, wrapping his arms around Ben's waist, tilting his head to catch the taller man's eyes. "Well it sure smells like it."

"Packed full of carbs and fat and..."

"All the good stuff." Michael laughed. "What happened to the health kick?"

"Well I thought we'd go back to that tomorrow." Ben said.

"You do know... that we're really going to need to work out after this."

"That was my intention," Ben said, tilting his head down, capturing Michael's lips. "Some... serious cardio." He added as Michael rose onto his toes, casting his arms behind Ben's neck.

"I think maybe we should get started before we eat," Michael said against Ben's lips. "Does that have to simmer or something?"

Ben clicked off the stove, resting his hands back on Michael's waist, walking him backward, lips pressed tightly against his lover's as Michael hastily tugged at the buttons on Ben's shirt.

They made it no further that the sofa in the next room, where Ben pulled the shirt over Michael's head, leaning the smaller man back. Ben let his lips travel down Michael's neck and chest as Michael brought his hands up, fingers tunneling Ben's hair and arching his own head back slightly.

They had only just started when the sound of the telephone filled the air.

"Leave it" Michael pleaded with Ben. "Just... just leave it, they'll hang up."

Ben reluctantly sat, reaching for the phone with a sigh. "It could be important." he cradled the receiver. "Hello?" there was silence for a moment. "Yeah... hold on." Ben looked at Michael. "It's umm, it's Allegheny General... for you."

"For me?" Michael said reaching over and taking the phone from Ben. His heart was suddenly in his mouth. His thoughts went immediately to his mother and Uncle Vic. "Hello, this is Michael Novotny..." Ben sat on the edge of his seat as Michael grew very silent. "Is he OK?... Is he... OK... OK, I'll--be right there." Michael hung up the phone, running his fingers back through his raven hair.

"Michael?" Ben said. "What happened? What is it?"

"It's Brian." Michael said getting to his feet and grabbing for his shirt. "Brian's in the hospital." Ben was silent. "All they said is that I was his contact and.... that it wasn't serious and...." Michael paused. "How 'not serious' can it be if they called me?"

"Michael, if the nurse said it's not serious..."

"I have to get down there..."

"Baby, you need to calm down. It's probably nothing..."

"Then why the hell did they call me?" Michael snapped. He immediately lowered his voice. "Sorry. Ben, I'm sorry I just... I need to get down there."

Ben nodded. "OK," he said "OK, let me drive you." Michael silently nodded. "OK," Ben continued, "OK, come on... come on, let's go."

Michael hated the hospital. He hated the hospital more than he hated anything in the world. He knew it probably wasn't easy for Ben to be there either as they found there way to the nurse's station.

"I'm Michael... Novotny" he said. "I got a call about Brian Kinney? Is he OK? Is he..."

"Mr. Kinney is going to be fine," the doctor told him. "I can bring you down to see him."

"That would be great, that'd be great, thank you." Michael said, allowing the doctor to lead him and Ben down to Brian's room.

"Just don't stay too long," the doctor explained. Michael nodded, waited for a moment before pushing his way into Brian's room.

"They called you," Brian sighed. "I told them not to."

"Bullshit," Michael said gently approaching Brian's bed. "You probably told the doctors to scream it from the roof tops." he paused. "What the hell happened to you?"

"The oysters at the luncheon happened to me." Brian said. "That's what happened to me. They tied me up here with fucking food poisoning."

"You're really lucky that it wasn't more serious." Ben said, still standing in the doorway.

"You know you really... have no idea what it's like to have a guy go down on you just as you're ready to spew."

"You can spare me the details," Michael cringed. "Please." He paused. "Christ, Brian, you scared the shit out of me."

"Can we not talk about shit?" Brian said.

Michael made a disgusted face. "Brian.... that's fucking disgusting."

"You're telling me," Brian said. "There's no need to worry about me, I'm doing just fine."

"How long do they plan on keeping you?" Ben asked.

"Til they finish pumping whatever the hell this shit is into me," Brian said motioning to the IV line. "Another day... two? Beyond that, they'll have to tie me down."

"I bet you'd like that," Michael laughed, teasing him. "Just don't go getting any crazy ideas."

"Don't worry," Brian said. "The orderly... I've already had him."

"You have not!" Michael said.

"Have," Brian confirmed as the doctor entered the room. "Definitely have."

"We're going to need to examine Mr. Kinney" the doctor said.

Michael sighed. "Brian... I'll call you in the morning, OK. I'll come by..."

"Go home, Mikey," Brian smiled. "And if you tell anyone about this..."

"My lips are sealed" Michael laughed. "I can only imagine what would happen if Mel got her hands on this."

"Michael..."

"I promise. Not a word. I swear." Michael looked at the doctor before gazing back at Brian. "I'll see you tomorrow,"

"I'm not going anywhere." Brian watched Michael smile. "Go," Michael nodded slowly. "Night Mikey."

"Night," Michael said. He waited a moment before leaving the room with Ben.

Brian looked up at the doctor. "OK, examine." he said "Let's get the over with."


	2. Chapter Two

Ben walked into the Liberty Diner alone the next morning. Michael had taken off early, hoping to hit the hospital before visiting hours had started. In Ben's opinion, Michael had attached himself to Brian way too much, but being there was important to Michael, so Ben didn't object.

"Morning, honey," Debbie said, pouring him a cup of coffee. She looked around curiously. "Where's Michael? Running late?"

"No," Ben said. "Michael's... skipping the diner this morning. He was in a hurry."

"Too much of a hurry to stop in and say hello to his own Goddamn mother?"

"It was unavoidable, Debbie." Ben said, calmly.

"The hell it was. Is he OK?"

"He's fine," Ben laughed. "He's just doing a favor for a friend."

"A friend?" Debbie said. "What friend?" Ben raised his eyebrows, sipping his coffee.

"Morning, Debbie!" Emmett sang, pushing into the diner with Ted. They took a seat at their usual booth. "Where's the other half of our party today?"

"Michael's not coming," Debbie said.

"And Brian?.." Ted said.

Debbie looked at Ben, who was silent still, sipping at the coffee. "A friend?" she said

Ben checked his watch. "Look at the time. I've gotta get to class." He leaned over the counter, kissing Deb's cheek.

Debbie let her mouth hang open as Ben said goodbye to Ted and Emmett and hurried out the door. "What the fuck is going on that I don't know about?" Debbie said.

"Deb..." Ted said. "I can say with confidence that I am right in the same boat as you."

"You know Michael," Emmett smiled. "Him and his great big heart."

"A lot of good that fucking heart of his is doing him. Fucking Brian..." Debbie added under her breath.

"Now now, Deb," Emmett said. "That's one thing Michael is definitely not doing." He coaxed her to sit. "He is really happy. And Ben is happy. All is divine."

Debbie shook her head with a sigh. "What can I get you boys?" She didn't even pause, continuing before either Ted or Emmett could speak. "The usual? Fine."

"Mr. Kinney," the nurse said, standing in the doorway to Brian's room. "Mr. Kinney, you can't just leave..."

"I can't?" Brian said sarcastically, throwing his sleeveless shirt on over his head. "Then what do you call this? I call it me walking out the fucking door."

"Mr. Kinney..."

"You're not keeping me here another day because of the fucking shits."

"Don't give the lady a hard time, Brian. She's doing her job." Michael said from out in the hallway. He slowly entered the room.

"I am not staying here for one more Goddamn minute and they can't make me. I don't have the fucking plague. I have food poisoning... and I feel better." He banged on his chest, directed towards the nurse. "Tip-fucking-top." Michael let his shoulders fall, giving Brian a disappointed look. "Don't give me that, Mikey."

"The lab hasn't come back with all of you're test results," the nurse said.

"Listen to me," Brian said. "Are you reading my lips? I'm leaving. You just call me when you get my fucking results back. OK? OK." He walked passed the nurse. "You coming, Mikey?"

Michael's mouth hung open, watching for a moment as Brian made his was over to the nurse's station and signed himself out. Michael shook his head but followed after Brian.

"Do you really think that this is such a good idea?" Michael said. "Brian?"

"It's the best fucking idea I've had in days." Brian stepped out of the hospital. "Where'd you park?"

"The lot..." Michael began as Brian had already begun in that direction. "Bri... Brian! Christ, will you just slow down a minute."

"What are you losing speed in your old age?" Brian laughed, slowing only slightly for Michael to catch up. "Where are we heading?"

"I'm bringing you to your car and then I am going to work."

"To spend another day with Superman and Captain America," Brian said as Michael opened the car doors. "The world is now a safer place thanks to the great and powerful Michael Novotny."

"I think you're confusing me with The Wizard of Oz." Michael laughed.

"Nope, no mistaking, Dorothy," Brian sat back.

Michael began to drive, heading towards Liberty Avenue. "Where's your car?"

"Babylon," Brian said, leaning back in the passenger's seat.

"What, were you starting early last night?" Michael laughed. "Was there some kind of celebration I didn't know about? Nine inch night isn't until Friday, right?"

"I was preparing for my own private nine inch night." Brian said. "I had a nice ten and a half set up. I was going to throw myself a party." Michael pulled up in front of Babylon. "But I bet it's nothing like what you and... Ben had planned." Brian said sarcastically.

Michael almost quivered with Brian's last statement. Just the sound of Brian's voice seemed hurt. "Nah," he said. "Just dinner and..."

"Oh it's OK, Mikey," Brian teased. "You can say it. You were going to fuck like a bunch of animals." Michael's eyebrows raised in a shocking disbelief. "Commitment." Brian said. "Makes me want to hurl even more than I already have to." Brian stepped out of the car.

"Are you going to be OK getting home?" Michael asked.

"Don't worry mother," Brian said. "You go off and have a wonderful day at work." Brian began to turn "Oh. And be sure to give my undying love to the Professor." he added with a hint of sarcasm.

Michael rolled his eyes, waiting, watching Brian get into his own car and drive off towards his loft. Michael remained behind the wheel for a moment, taking a deep breath, before parking the car, deciding to head to the diner before opening up the store. He hadn't gotten any shit from Debbie that morning. How could he start his day without it?


	3. Chapter Three

Michael stepped very nonchalantly into the diner, slipping into a booth. "Well look who we have here," Debbie said, now standing in before Michael.  
  
"Morning, Mom"  
  
"Don't give me that," Debbie said. "Sending Ben to eat all alone this morning."  
  
"Ben and I don't have to spend every waking moment together," Michael said.  
  
"No, you'd rather spend your waking moments with Brian."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Michael said. Debbie raised her hand and cracked him in the back of the head. "Oww! What the hell was that for?"  
  
"Don't fucking lie to me," Debbie said. "Ben already told me that you were with Brian."  
  
"Brian is my best friend. That hasn't changed. It isn't going to."  
  
"And what crisis is he going through today? Hang nail? Boredom?"  
  
"No..." Michael said rather matter of factly. "I promised Brian that I would see him this morning."  
  
"Bullshit, Michael."  
  
"It is not bullshit!" he said. "Besides... I don't... need a reason to visit Brian."  
  
Debbie shook her head. "He's gonna drive a fucking wedge between you and Ben..."  
  
"Jesus, Ma," Michael said. "It's not Brian's fault he got sick!"  
  
Debbie suddenly grew silent as Michael brought his hand up to his head, realizing his error in telling Debbie. "Brian's sick?" Debbie said slowly.  
  
"No," Michael said quickly. "No, it's really nothing... and besides, he's fine now. Much better."  
  
"Order's up, Deb!" they heard from the back of the diner.  
  
"What do you want to eat?" Debbie asked, completely changing the subject. Michael's shoulders fell, feeling horrible about squealing about Brian. "I know," Debbie continued. "You just wait right here and I'll bring you something good."

* * *

He had survived Debbie. Michael managed to make it through breakfast, avoiding the topic of Brian... well trying to at least, somewhat successfully. He had opened up the store and began to unpack the boxes of the new arrivals of comic books and memorabilia.  
  
Michael was in the back when the bell above the door jingled. "I'll be right with you!" Michael called.  
  
"It's just me!" Justin responded, approaching the front counter, setting out a number of sketches. "I brought over some of the revised stuff."  
  
Michael stepped back to the front of the store. "New sketches?" he said.  
  
"Well I just fixed the old ones up a little," Justin said.  
  
Michael leaned over the counter, taking one of the drawings into his hand. "This is good," Michael said. "Yeah... yeah this is great, this could work. But I was thinking... his alter ego.... maybe we should give it a different..." Michael paused. "I was thinking of reworking the villain giving him different abilities, a different purpose."  
  
"You want different drawings." Justin said almost defeated.  
  
"No," Michael said. "Oh... no. These are great. I like these a lot."  
  
Justin sighed. "You know, Michael... if we keep this up, we're never going to get the next issue done. We get set on one thing and then you change it. The character is real. This 'Juice Pig'.... we can work with him. It's a good idea, all we have to do is run with it." Michael was looking over the pictures again. "Michael? We should run with it."  
  
Michael nodded slowly. "You're right," he said. placing the papers down in front of them. "Yeah, you're right. This villain can really give Rage a run for his money, huh?" Justin smiled. "OK. I'll... I'll get started on an outline."

* * *

"I thought you were still in the hospital."  
  
"I have too many things to do to just lay in a hospital bed for days on end," Brian said, brushing passed Cynthia, into his office. "I'm fine, no permanent scarring... but I will never touch shellfish again, for the rest of my life."  
  
"I'll write that one down." Cynthia smiled as Brian's phone rang. "Don't work too hard," she said leaving the office.  
  
Brian picked up the office phone. "Brian Kinney," he said. "....OK, they came back, so what are the results?... I'm feeling fine. What if I don't want to come in?... Can't you just tell me over the fucking phone?..." Brian was silent for a long moment. "Fine. Fine, I'm coming in. I'm on my way."


	4. Chapter Four

Michael sat in front of the comic book store, pencil tapping the top of a blank sheet of paper. The words just weren't flowing. He couldn't pull together a single thought, not when there was something else on his mind. Something that bothered Michael terribly, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.  
  
Michael leaned over, picking up the telephone and calling Brian's loft. He let the phone line ring seven times before hanging up.  
  
"You stupid ass," Michael said. "What the hell are you doing going back to work right after you get out of the hospital?"  
  
Michael picked the phone back up. cradling it in his hand for a moment before dialing the agency. Again, Brian's phone rang, clicking a machine on after the fourth ring. Michael didn't wait for the tone, hanging up the phone.  
  
"Where the hell are you, Brian?" Michael said. He couldn't even begin to think. Maybe something was wrong. Maybe Brian was back in the hospital. Michael shook his head, trying to snap himself out of it. He was just being paranoid.  
  
But, Michael did paranoid well. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was really wrong. Standing from his seat behind the counter Michael rounded to the front of the store, turning the sign on the door from OPEN to CLOSED, grabbed his coat and exited the shop.

* * *

Brian sat in the hospital hallway, in the same seat he had sat in two and a half years ago when Justin got bashed. Two years, six months and seventeen days to be exact, be who was counting? He rested his head back against the wall, eyes shut, seeming to be in a deep thought, but in reality, hardly thinking of anything. All of a sudden, his invincibility seemed like a thing of the past. It seemed as if it never existed at all.  
  
"Brian?" Michael said, noticing him from down the hall. Brian didn't hear him, his mind completely tuned off. "Brian?" Michael said again, walking closer. "Bri... what is it? Are you OK?"  
  
"Jesus, Mikey." Brian snapped out of it. "What the fuck are you doing here?"  
  
"Looking for you," Michael took a seat beside his best friend.  
  
Brian stood, Michael's eyes following him with curiosity and worry. "Yeah well... you shouldn't have bothered."  
  
Michael was silent for a moment, turning in his seat, leaning forward, arms resting in his thighs. He watched Brian run his fingers through his hair. "What?" Michael said. Brian didn't respond. "Brian... What?" Still nothing. "Will you open your mouth and talk to me. What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong," Brian said "Would you mind your own fucking business already?! Shit, Michael."  
  
"Well excuse me for giving a shit," Michael said. "I called your Goddamn loft, I called your Goddamn office... Christ, Brian, I thought something happened to you!"  
  
"Yeah, well I'm fine." Brian said. "They wanted to give me my test results."  
  
"So your results came in. Why couldn't they just tell you over the phone?"  
  
"Because they enjoy being pains in my ass." Brian replied. "Now you can sit here as long as you want, but I'm going home."  
  
Michael watched Brian walk away. He observed the way his best friend walked, no different than any other time, but there was definitely something. Something that Brian hadn't said, something that was very obviously bothering him.  
  
"Brian!" Michael called. "Hold up, I'll come with you."  
  
Brian didn't stop. He didn't even slow down, but did turn his head to see Michael's pace quicken so that he could catch up.  
  
"How'd you get here?" Brian asked.  
  
"I took a cab." Michael said. "I figured if I tipped the guy enough..."  
  
"Nough said." Brian shook his head.  
  
Michael crunched up his face in disgust. "Not that kind of tip. Asshole."  
  
Brian laughed. Now that was the Brian Kinney that Michael knew and loved. "Come on, I'll give you a lift back to the store."  
  
Back to the store, back to his world of Superman and Rage, a storyline that Michael couldn't plot out if his life depended on it. Well at least with the kids in school, Michael's customers were at a minimum during the day, leaving him time to write a little and with his lunch break.... "Shit!" Michael exclaimed very suddenly. "Lunch."  
  
"Don't get your cock in a knot," Brian said. "I'll have you at the diner before Debbie has a chance to put the lemon bars on the counter." He laughed.  
  
"Not... I promised Ben I'd meet him... Shit!"  
  
"Right..." Brian said. "Lunch with Ben." He was silent for a moment. "I'll bring you to the store and you can go meet him. It's still early."  
  
Michael looked over at Brian who now drove in silence. He wasn't sure what to make of it. The fact that Brian still didn't seem so keen on Michael dating Ben, or something else completely. Maybe a mixture of the two. Either way, the ride back to Liberty Avenue was a silent one.


	5. Chapter Five

"Ben!" Michael called, sprinting down the street to catch up with Ben, who was pushing his bicycle away from the comic book shop. "Ben! Wait!"

Ben came to a stop, pausing a moment before turning to face Michael.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Michael said. "I know... lunch... I know, but... I felt strange and..." he was winded from running to catch up. "I went to the hospital..."

"Are you OK?" Ben said. "You're not..."

"No..." Michael paused to catch his breath. "Brian... he... he checked himself out of the hospital this morning. I just... I got this feeling that something was wrong. He said that... the lab had gotten his test results back. But they called him back to the hospital to get them."

Ben kicked the stand down on his bike. "Well that could mean anything." he said, trying to calm Michael. "You said he checked himself out, right?" Michael nodded. "Against doctor's orders no doubt. They probably wanted to just get him back to the hospital."

It was such a load of garbage that neither Michael nor Ben believed, but Michael nodded, appreciating Ben's efforts. "I just worry about him. Since we were kids." Michael sighed. "I'm sorry about lunch. Do you have any more time?"

"Just about enough to get back to campus," Ben said. "Michael... it's OK. Really. Really." he smiled. "We're having dinner tonight... with your mother."

"Don't sound so excited." Michael managed a laugh. "She's going to have us so stuffed we're not gonna be able to move for a month."

"And that could be a severe tragedy," Ben smiled. "I think we'll manage."

"So we'll go over there together..."

"Michael..." Ben said. "I have that student meeting after classes today, remember? I'm going to meet you over there."

"Right," Michael said. "Six o'clock."

"Six o'clock," Ben repeated. "And I'll bring my appetite," He kissed Michael softly on the lips. "I promise."

"I'll hold you to that." Michael said.

"Please do. I'll see you later then." He kissed Michael once again, longer and deeper this time, before pulling away. Michael watched him ride away, turning back to the store.

* * *

Brian had stalled a while, not feeling like doing much of anything at first, but ultimately came to the decision to just go on with his day. He wasn't about to pretend like anything had changed. Because, where everyone else was concerned, nothing had changed and Brian was prepared to keep it that way.

He walked into the Liberty Diner, with the full intention to eat lunch in peace. After about twenty four hours, he was ready to have food in his body again. As long as it wasn't oysters.

"Deb" Brian took a seat at the counter. "Coffee,"

"I've got customers waiting" she said "You better put your hand on your cock and whistle."

"Alright" Brian leaned against the counter. "What'd I do this time? Did I stand too close to your son without getting the proper authorization or what?"

"Haven't you caused enough trouble?" Debbie said. "You know... as much as Michael would do anything for you, you don't have to take advantage of it all the time."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Brian said. "I didn't do shit to Mikey."

"You call and he goes running," Debbie said. "Give the poor kid some space for Christ's sake! Let him enjoy his life without having to worry every time you break a nail!"

Brian raised his eyebrows, not particularly amused by Debbie's rant. "Coffee?" he said pushing his cup forward.

Debbie put the pot down a little rougher than necessary. "Do be careful not to burn yourself." she said sarcastically.

Brian shook his head, taking the coffee. He wasn't in the mood to dig into Deb, he didn't feel up to it at the moment, so he uncharacteristically took what she dished out.

Debbie noticed this. "What, no witty remark?" she said. "Not like you to just sit there. "

Brian paused a moment. "You know what?" he said. "You're right." He violently swatted the ceramic cup across the counter where it shattered against the wall. "Keep you fucking coffee and keep your fucking remarks." And he said no more, blowing out of the Diner


	6. Chapter Six

"A few of our boxes got stuck on another truck coming out of the warehouse..." Michael sighed. "But I have a waiting list that my customers... Novotny... No, Novotny... N-O-V-O-T-N-Y... No, no, no, don't put me on hold again. Hello? Hello?" Michael fell back in his chair with a sigh as the bell above the door jingled. "Whatever you want, we probably don't have it." He sighed.

"Well is that any way to drum up business, Mikey?" Brian said, picking up an issue of Superman, flipping through the pages pointlessly. "You're going to scare all the little kids away with an attitude like that."

Michael raised his eyebrows. "I've been put on hold five times already..."

"Really?" Brian pretended interest. "Let me give it a try." He coaxed Michael into handing over the phone. Brian listened for a moment to the musak playing over the line, rolling his eyes and clicking to end the call. "Oopps," he said tossing the phone down on the counter.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Michael exclaimed. "I've been on the phone for an hour."

"I just got shit... from your fucking mother," he said "Plus, I'm starving. Let's go eat."

"I can't" Michael said. "I have work to finish before I meet Ben for..."

"Christ, Mikey," Brian said. "You live with the guy. Let's go out and have some fun."

"I'm having dinner with my mother." Michael said picking up the phone again, dialing back.

"You call that fun?" Brian said "I call that a slow and painful death." He grabbed the phone from Michael's hand.

"And what exactly did you have in mind?" he said. "Some kind of sex party? Hitting the baths or the backroom at Babylon? I am in a re-la-tion-ship, Brian. Meaning I don't fuck around behind Ben's back."

"I'm not asking you to, Mikey." Brian said. "Shit, what the hell happened to just going out and having a good time?"

"Because 'having a good time' usually means we go out and you disappear somewhere to get your dick sucked... or you pick up some guy for a quick fuck. I don't want to spend tonight standing alone at a bar again while you disappear. Christ only knows how many of those guys actually have something."

"Coming from someone who lives with a positive guy" Brian got defensive.

"That's different!" Michael said. "Shit, Brian, that's different and you know it. Ben and I... have a very open relationship. We have since day one. He's not just some nameless trick you pick up to suck you off."

"Spare me the bullshit story," Brian said.

"It's not bullshit!" Michael said. "It's not bullshit that I worry about you. That I worry you could pick up the wrong guy. It's not bullshit that I don't want you to end up sick like Ben." Brian shook his head, running his fingers through his hair as he moved away from Michael, back facing him. "You don't believe me?" Michael asked.

Brian remained silent for a moment, turning back to face Michael. "It doesn't make one Goddamn bit of difference."

"Of course it does," Michael said. "Of course it does. What the hell's wrong with you?"

Brian looked directly at Michael with a look on his face which was so dreadfully similar to the one Brian used to wear as a child when he would climb through Michael's window at night to escape his father.

"I'm fucking positive, Michael."


	7. Chapter Seven

Michael stopped. He couldn't move. He could hardly breath as Brian's words echoed in his mind. There was no way this was happening. He was more awe struck than anything. "Brian..." he finally said.

"I shouldn't have said a fucking word," Brian said. "Forget I said anything at all."

"But... Brian have you..." Michael ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't know what to say. It hadn't been like this when Ben told him.

"Can you just drop it Mikey," Brian said. "Just fucking drop it." Michael wanted to die inside. It felt like part of him already had. " I don't want to talk about it. I don't even want to think about it anymore, OK?"

"Ignoring this isn't going to make it go away," Michael swallowed. "Shit, Brian, let me help you."

"What the fuck can you do, Michael?! What the fuck can anybody do?! Not a fucking thing."

"You could... maybe you could talk to Uncle Vic... or Ben."

"Fuck Ben!" Brian said. "I don't give a shit what he thinks. You think I need somebody to tell me what it's like? I'd rather just judge the whole _fabulous_ experience for myself."

"You can't do this alone, Brian. " Michael said. "It's... not a death sentence."

"Don't... Mikey. Just shut the fuck up will you. OK?"

Michael took a step back. He could see the fear in his best friend's eyes, although he knew that Brian wouldn't admit it. And as they stood there for a while listening as the chime from the Captain Astro wall clock marked six pm.

"Are we going out or not?" Brian said suddenly. Michael was silent. He knew he couldn't force Brian to face this, couldn't rush him into accepting reality. But he did know that he wasn't going to let Brian go through it alone.

"Yeah," Michael said. "Yeah... let me lock up."

* * *

The doorbell at the Novotny house rang, echoing the chime through the home. "Coming!" Debbie called from the kitchen. She put the pot from the oven on the table, going to the door. She swung it inward. "Hi, honey." Debbie said letting Ben into the house.

"Sorry I'm late, Debbie" Ben said. "Meetings. I hope I didn't keep you and Michael waiting too long."

"You mean Michael's not with you?" Debbie poked her head out the door, peering practically down the block.

"...No." Ben stepped inside. "I was going to meet him here." He paused. "Michael... must have lost track of time at the store. I'm sure he's just running late." The look on Ben's face said that he didn't believe it. "He would have called if he wasn't going to make it...."

* * *

Michael opted to pass on the drinks, but decided that keeping Brian at Woody's and away from Babylon for the night was the best thing. There was no talking Brian back to the loft and Michael couldn't just leave him alone. He was his best friend and Brian needed him.

Michael watched as Brian ordered his fourth drink in less that an hour, the keys to the jeep settled nicely in Michael's hand. "What's the matter Mikey?" Brian said. "You're not gonna... join me?"

"You're having... enough for both of us, believe me" Michael said. "Maybe you should slow down."

"What are you my fucking mother now?" Brian snapped at him. "Not that even my fucking mother would give a shit." Michael knew that it wasn't really Brian talking. That it was a mix of the shock and alcohol.

"Brian maybe we should go eat something" Michael said. "Instead of just the drinks maybe dinner." he paused. "Dinner. Shit." Dinner with Ben and his mother. It had completely slipped his mind. "Don't... go anywhere, OK. I'll be right back." Michael kept a hold of the keys to Brian's car, heading off to a quieter area of the bar with his cell phone, dialing Ben.

"Hello?" Ben answered the phone. "Michael?"

"I am so so sorry," Michael said. "Things got crazy... I completely forgot about dinner."

"Your mother is fuming," Ben said. "You need to talk to her."

"I know..." Michael said as a few men pushed passed him. "I know."

"Where are you?"

Michael couldn't tell him. Not over the phone, that he was sitting in Woody's with Brian. "Taking care of... something that came up unexpectedly. Something important."

"Something with Brian." Ben said almost knowing.

"I um... Can you just tell my mom I'll talk to her tomorrow?" Michael dreaded that conversation. "I'll meet you home later. I... I gotta go, Ben."

Michael hung up the phone, knowing he did want to leave Brian sitting alone at the bar too long. He might just drink enough to swim home that night. Michael walked back up to the front where he had left Brian, stopping short. Brian was nowhere to be found.

"Brian?" Michael looked around. He was still clutching the keys to the jeep, knowing that Brian couldn't have gotten far. Unless he had picked somebody up... "Damnit." Michael said. He rushed to the door. "Shit, Brian." He looked outside at the crowded streets. There was only one place on Michael's mind to look and if Brian wasn't there, all bets were off.


	8. Chapter Eight

Michael precariously crossed the crowded Liberty Avenue. Why tonight of all nights did it seem like all of gay Pittsburgh had hit the street? Michael continued down the street, coming to a stop outside the all too familiar establishment... Babylon. He hoped that Brian was inside, but at the same time, hoped that Brian still had enough sense left not to do something stupid. But with Brian already three sheets to the wind and still in denial about his illness, anything was possible.

As Michael stepped inside, he was immediately bombarded by gyrating go-go boys and half naked, horny men. He had no problem getting through the crowd, although he did feel his ass get grabbed a few times, and making his way up the stairs about hallway so that he could see around the entire club. No sight of Brian.

"Michael!" Michael sighed at the sound of the familiar voice. Not that he was ever upset to see Ted, but right now, Michael was a man on a mission. "I thought you had plans with Ben tonight."

"Something... came up," Michael continued to look. "Have you seen Brian?"

"Brian?" Emmett said. "Honey is Brian the 'something' that 'came up'?"

"Have you guys seen him?"

"He's doing his thing as usual," Emmett said. "Just saw him heading to the backroom with some hunky..."

Michael didn't even wait for Emmett to finish before hurrying to the backroom. He walked passed dozens of men, not feeling uncomfortable, but feeling hurried, nervous, for Brian. He continued further back, finally catching a glimpse of Brian, pressed against a far wall, the trick already beginning to descend to his knees.

"What the hell are you doing?" Michael went over. "Are you out of your mind?"

"No, hopefully out of my pants if you'd give my friend some room." Brian said.

"Where's your head?!"

Brian raised his eyebrows. "If you have to ask me that, Mikey..."

Michael rolled his eyes. "The one that's supposed to be on your shoulders, jackass."

"Get up," Brian said before the trick had even begun. "I said... get up." Brian stepped away, starting out of the backroom. Michael followed behind him, not leaving any room to lose him again. "You know," Brian said. "I don't need a fucking babysitter."

"I'm not trying to be one." Michael said gently. "I just don't want you to go out and hurt yourself... or hurt someone else. Because... shit Brian, I know you don't want to accept it yet, or even think about it... but you can give this to somebody else. You can and there's no taking it back. I know you don't want that."

Brian remained silent as Michael led him out of Babylon. Still holding the keys to the jeep, Michael let Brian in, driving in the direction of the loft. Both men remained amazingly silent, Michael casting a quick glance over at each traffic light they hit. Brian went unmoved.

As they reached the loft, Michael parked the car, helping Brian out an into the elevator, beginning the ascent to the sixth floor. "Where's this put me, Mikey?" Brian said finally, keeping a forward stare.

"What do you mean?" Michael asked as the elevator came to a stop and they stepped off.

"Where's this going to leave me?" he said again. Michael opened the door to the Loft. "Swallowing a fucking pharmacy...." Michael watched Brian's eyes. He saw fear for the first time since Brian had told him about being positive. It was as if the fact was finally becoming clear in Brian's mind. "How the fuck am I going to do this, Mikey?"

"With me," Michael said without missing a beat. "You're gonna get through this with me helping you. And we're going to start now." Michael set the keys to his own apartment down beside the keys to the jeep. He walked with Brian into the bedroom, sitting him down . He pulled Brian down onto the bed with him gently, comfortingly, just as he had when they were boys, pulling his best friend's head against his own shoulder, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around him. They remained that way until Brian had fallen asleep. Michael kissed his head, keeping the position as he now slept himself. He wanted to be there for Brian when he woke up.


End file.
